The ages of 0 to around 6 years old, I have very little recollection of. The time my memory really kicked in and I consider my life to have truly “begun” oddly enough happened at the time when it was looking very likely that it was closer to it’s end. When the time finally came for my second surgery, my parents were, needless to say, on pins and needles. One of my first vivid memories was of the days that lead up to my surgery in Rochester Minnesota at the world renowned Mayo Clinic. We showed up a few days early to see some of the sights in the area and hopefully do a few things to lighten the mood and have some fun before the inevitable came up. The stress was compounded by the fact that my dad was unable to come with us when we first went to Minnesota because of work, so our trip consisted of myself, my Mom, and my Grandmother. Our stay was taken care of by the local Ronald McDonald House, (which means I will refrain from any McDonald’s bashing for this particular post as a sign of good will.) consisted of all the “fun” my mom could cram into the time period before we hit the zero hour and I would go back under the knife for the first time in nearly seven years.
It was a couple of weeks before my seventh birthday and by the time my birthday was going to hit, I would have, in the best case scenario, been laid up in a bed on an entire slew of drugs. We spent our time going from activity to activity which I’m sure must have cost them a fortune. A trip to the Minnesota Zoo, which I honestly don’t remember a damn bit of, no matter how hard I try.
The night before my surgery, and one of the most fun experiences of my early life that I remember to this day was spending several hours in a local arcade playing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Game with my mom.
We died a lot.
All said and done, my mom stuck it out like a trooper and kept us in quarters until we beat every level of that game from beginning to end. By the end of that couple of hours, we had ended up pumping about fifteen bucks into that machine together, which, in the days where playing a game on an arcade machine only cost a single quarter meant we died at least sixty times before we were done.
I had a lot of fear looming over my little head as the days before my surgery edged closer. It became a point of dread for me, even though I remained blissfully ignorant to how much was truly at stake once they put me to sleep. I was just worried it would hurt. I was worried I might wake up in the middle of it and panic when I saw my chest laid open like Freddy Kruger had gotten a hold of me. I worried about what the scars would look like. Practically every exaggerated, childish nightmare scenario that could have sprung from something like this came into my head at the time.
For that night though, all those bad thoughts just sort of went away without acknowledgement. All I remember from the days leading up to my long hospital stay were happy ones, spent with my parents, doing fun things and feeling extremely loved. The fact that my parent’s marriage was in the final stages of unraveling and the sense of fear that they clearly must have had about what was going to happen to me remained completely undetected in my eyes. My mom and dad had extremely good poker faces and the fact that they were able to keep me so positive more than likely had a lot to do with how I recovered later on.
If I ever have a child with a health problem like my own, I only hope that I’m able to do the same for them that Betsy and Allen did for me. I can only imagine the horrible thoughts that were coursing through their heads.